i have returned.

oh.my.goodness.

I must be the most stubborn person in the history of the universe. These last few months, it seems like it has been almost impossible to get it together- it has been such a struggle.

There is a quote in the big book that says something like “half measures availed us nothing.” I’ve heard it a million times and always liked it, but never really applied it to my life. Sure, I’ve been dedicated before, motivated. But- when things get hard or the OA honeymoon ends, dedication and motivation tend to waver.

I am working on the 3rd step right now: turned our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. All that is nice, warm and fuzzy on paper- but what does it look like in every day life? I really had no idea until this weekend.

Something clicked at church on Sunday, though. My pastor was speaking about wrestling sin to the ground and what that meant. He asked a simple question, but it really answered a lot of questions for me.

imagine the sin you are struggling with most in your life right now. Think back on the last year, month, week, day… what actions have you taken to wrestle it to the ground? beating sin takes sacrifice- it takes going to war with your flesh. It’s you verses the giant in your life- one of them is going to die.

ahhh. that make so much sense!! the third step has always confused me, because on the surface it’s almost like an excuse to be lazy- since I’m incapable of controlling this disease, I’ll just let God do all the work.

BUT- that’s not what it’s about. The third step isn’t about letting God do everything while you do nothing… it’s about making your mind, body and spirit over to Him to USE. Letting Him dictate your actions and recovery.. and that’s a lot of hard work.

I need to make sacrifices on an hourly basis to grow in recovery, that’s what it’s about.

Breakfast	Vita Muffin	1
	Coffee	2
Lunch	Whole Wheat Pita	4
	Cheese, Turkey Pepperoni and Sauce	5
	4oz Greek Yogurt, Strawberries and .5oz Cereal	3
Snack	Vita Muffin	1
Dinner	2 Chicken Lean Pockets	10
	Sugar-Free Pudding
	TOTAL	26